There’s
definitely an air of ‘the truth is out there’ this week, as we assess some
strange and bewildering things that may actually exist in our world … though then
again, they may not.
To
start with, today’s book review will focus on Steve Alten’s epic action/horror tale
of cryptozoology gone mad, MEG. It already enjoys classic status, but if you
haven’t yet heard of it, think blue water and an unfeasibly massive dorsal fin cutting a
bloody wake along a sun-drenched but worryingly depopulated coastline, and you
won’t go far wrong.
For
those who’ve only come here for the review, you’ll find it, as always, towards the
lower end of this post. Be my guest and zoom on down. However, for those who’ve
got a little more time on their hands, I first I thought it might be fun to
trawl through my top 10 weird and scary photos from the internet and, where
possible, offer real-world explanations for them.
Yes,
you’ll most likely have seen several of these images before, if not all of
them, but I dug around a bit and tried to come up with some relevant background info.
Most, as you’ll see, are not actually as mysterious as they may initially
appear, but one or two still defy understanding.
1. MEGALODON
…
Megalodon,
or Carcharodon megalodon, was the apex predator of the prehistoric ocean. In
essence, a gargantuan shark, a 60 foot long, 50 ton killing machine, it is
probably more deserving of the epithet ‘sea monster’ than any other aquatic
creature that has ever lived.
It
flourished primarily in the Cenozoic Era, and though there are fragments of
archaeological evidence to suggest that specimens of Megalodon might have lived
on until as recently as 10,000 years ago (a blip in evolutionary time between
then and now!), the clever money is on them all being gone by the year
1,000,000 BC.
However, when this incredible photograph first emerged
in the early 2010s, purporting to show an image captured by German naval forces
during World War Two just off Cape Town, it set the cryptozoological community’s
head spinning.
Rumours
had circled for years that Megalodon might still exist; the ocean’s extreme
depths are largely unmapped, there have been many unexplained sinkings of ships,
occasional so-called sightings, and so forth. But this picture looked like the
first piece of real, solid evidence.
Except,
sadly, that it wasn’t.
It
was first presented as proof on Megalodon, The Monster Shark Lives, a mockumentary
first aired by Discovery Channel in 2013, to which disclaimers attached to
the programme before it was aired admitted that some of the evidence about to be screened was
fictional.
As
such, it is most likely to be a professionally-made fake.
German
military forces never used the swastika watermark on their photographic records,
the sepia-toning was unknown in military reconnaissance photography at that
time, and the titanic dorsal fin, somewhat suspiciously, is leaving no wake. One
independent researcher has even claimed to have found the actual footage from
which this still was taken, and assures us there was no shark there beforehand,
of any size.
2. THE
LAST PHOTOGRAPH OF CHARLIE NOONAN …
This
now famous American legend tells the tale of a roaming folklorist in the
1920s/30s called Charlie Noonan. According to the tales, Noonan would travel
from state to state, seeking out strange and wonderful stories and looking to
capture evidence for them on his box-camera. His final trip took him to
Oklahoma at the time of the Dust Bowl. He was on the trail of a mysterious old
woman who allegedly lived in an area of farmland that had completely died, and
who supposedly “was not entirely human”.
It was never specified what the latter actually meant, but she was also
said to be accompanied by a demonic hound.
Even
then, in a time of despair, the whole thing sounded fanciful, but Noonan
eventually got in touch with his wife and told her that he’d met a farmer who’d
directed him to a shack where he believed the old woman lived. Noonan
apparently set off, but was never heard from again. Several months later, news
of his disappearance made the papers, and a Tulsa pawnbroker remembered an
itinerant coming into his shop a few days earlier and selling him an old
box-camera.
When
the pawnbroker examined the camera, it was engraved with the name ‘Charles
Noonan’. It also contained a roll of film, which the authorities subsequently
developed. The above picture was the only image on the film.
This
is certainly a spooky story, and while investigators have never uncovered
anything to prove that it really happened – for example, Charlie Noonan is untraceable as a
historical person – they have never been able to disprove it either. It first
appeared online on a Creepypasta webpage, which may weaken its provenance in
the eyes of some, though the author of that page asserted that he came into
possession of it when an anonymous correspondent attempted to sell a clutch of supernatural images to a publishing house he was employed by at the
time.
3. THE
BLACK KNIGHT SATELLITE …
The
‘Black Knight Satellite’ is possibly our most well-known legend of outer space.
In
essence, it is an unknown UFO which has reputedly been circling Earth in a
near-polar orbit for the last 13,000 years, and from time to time beaming down
indecipherable signals.
Conspiracy
theorists claim that NASA astronauts have located and examined this elusive extraterrestrial
object and, rather suspiciously, have kept the data to themselves. It is
shrouded in mystery – even the origins of the name are unknown, but the
scientific establishment denies its existence, putting the ‘sightings’ down to
a combination of misidentified natural phenomena and science-fiction stories
masquerading as truth.
The
image above, one of several allegedly depicting the anomaly, is dismissed as a
normal piece of space debris, probably connected to one of Earth’s own rocket
or satellite launches.
4. THE
EJDALLIM WITCHES …
Sometime
in the early 2010s, a New Orleans photographer got creative with the wedding he
was covering. With the happy event taking place in the city’s attractive French
Quarter, the imaginative snapper decided to get some really memorable pix by
going airborne (most likely by using a drone). The resulting shots were
certainly different from the norm, especially these two, which were uploaded
onto the internet from a photobucket account called ‘Edjallim’, and appear to depict
a whole row of uninvited guests: weird, masked and hooded figures standing in a
row on a balcony overlooking the ceremony.
Amazing
theories soon abounded. Had some kind of cult attended the wedding in secret,
perhaps to work a spell or maybe profane a Christian ritual? Was it possible
the photographer had captured a bunch of ghosts? After all, this was at the
rear of the Brulatour House, which was built in 1816 and had witnessed many
real-life melodramas over the passing centuries.
Unfortunately,
the truth is more mundane. The Brulatour House is an adjunct of the Historic
New Orleans Museum, and the eerie figures were part of an installation created
by artist Dawn DeDeux.
5. EDWARD
MORDRAKE …
The mysterious and distressing case of Edward Mordrake has long been thought to be true. Not least because
of this famous photograph of him, which has circulated the internet for years,
but also because the most detailed reference to his case can be found in Anomalies
and Curiosities of Medicine, a distinguished publication of 1896, penned by
doctors George Gould and Walter Pyle.
According
to this august account, Mordrake was heir to a lavish estate in England in the
mid-19th century, but he was also born with a second face on the back of his
skull. What was more, this second face was actually alive. Most of the time it
was inert, though close examination revealed that some changes in its
expression occurred when Mordrake was in an emotional state: it inclined
towards a smile when he was happy (which wasn’t very often), and to a sneer
when he was sad. However, Mordrake begged the medical men of his age to
surgically remove it, as he claimed that each night, when he was in bed, it whispered
hideous things to him “such as are only heard in Hell”.
When
this dangerous treatment was refused, Mordrake became progressively more
deranged, finally taking his own life at the age of 23. While such a birth
defect is not impossible – modern medicine concludes that Mordrake was stricken
by craniopagus parasiticus, a rare form of parasitic twinning – there is still
every chance that his story is pure fiction.
Gould
and Pyle admitted to never having examined him, and drawing all their
conclusions from an earlier article written by a layman who they didn’t name,
though modern researchers think that layman was Charles Hildreth, a poet and
fantasy author, who in the Boston Post of 1895 quoted the non-existent Royal
Scientific Society as proof of famous hybrids like the ‘Fishwoman of Lincoln’
and the ‘Half-Human Crab’ (of whom there are no records anywhere), and of
course, ‘Edward Mordrake, the two-faced man’. Meanwhile, the sole physical
evidence for Modrake’s life – the above photograph – actually depicts a wax
model made long after he supposedly died, though where it resides today, nobody
knows.
6. THE
FALLING BODY …
Texan
family, the Coopers, moved into their dream home sometime in the mid-1950s. On
the first night in the new property, the father took this photograph of his
wife, two children and mother-in-law. When the picture was exposed, this
ghastly falling form appeared, even though the family swore that no-one else
was present when the picture was taken, much less someone hanging upside down
or falling from the ceiling.
It
certainly looks ghostly and no completely convincing explanation has ever been
offered, but attempts to track down the Cooper family in modern times have
noticeably failed – which seems odd, and in addition analysts have pointed to
minor details apparently indicating Photoshop activity.
It
has also been suggested that this is a double-exposure, or even that the entire
set-up is fake, the family nothing more than models posing for a contemporary
‘horror art’ exhibit. The only problem with this latter, more prosaic theory is
that there’s no record of that ever happening either.
7. SKUNK
APE …
In
2000, this image was mailed anonymously to the Sheriff’s Department in Sarasota
County, Florida, and purports to show the terrifying ‘Skunk Ape’, an unknown
hominid said to roam the swamplands of the American South.
As
weird and mysterious photographs go, this one is certainly impressive. The
person who sent the picture withheld their name, but claimed to be a local
female resident, who caught the image in her own back garden and said that that
on three separate occasions the monstrous ape had approached the house in
search of apples scattered in the yard. She herself thought it might be an
escaped orangutan.
The
picture’s origin has now been traced to the vicinity of the Myakka River, and
though it may seem suspicious that the photographer has still not come forward,
the official explanation – that this is an everyday black bear – seems
unrealistic to me. This is like no black bear I’ve ever seen.
8. THE
FACES OF BELMEZ …
From
1971, the Pereira house in Andalusia, Spain, became the scene of a famous
so-called paranormal event, when human faces began to form naturally in the
concrete on the main floor.
Sensation
followed sensation when the floor was torn up and re-laid, and yet more faces
appeared, only to disappear later and then reappear again. Some were said to
have aged, others to have changed their expressions depending on the mood of
the Pereira family.
Excavations
later revealed that the house was constructed on an old burial site, which in
the eyes of many parapsychologists confirmed that this was a genuine
supernatural incident, though scientists also got in on the act, claiming to
have found various traces of paint which suggested that it might have been an
elaborate hoax.
9. MIDWESTERN
MATRICIDE …
This
legendary Halloween photograph depicts the Buckley Family, hardworking Midwest
farm folk, whose happy life came to a grisly end sometime in the late 19th
century.
The
story goes that, as part of a Halloween prank, local kids decided to make
dummies, behead them and then pose for photographs. The Buckley children –
somewhat disturbed, it would seem – opted to join in the fun by decapitating
their own mother. The photographer only realised that he had captured a real
murder scene on film later on, when the plate was developed.
The
police were quickly called and attended the house, only to find the children
missing. They were never seen again, though the mother’s remains were still on
the premises, partially eaten.
So
goes the story, though sadly it’s another classic hoax. In actual fact, the
original photo depicted a normal rural family; it was modern day Halloween
artist, Edward Allen, who craftily and skilfully adjusted it into the scene of
Victorian horror you see here and called it ‘Midwestern Matricide’.
10. THE
WHOPPER HOPPER …
This
infamous image is another curiosity that’s been making rounds of the internet
for years, and is allegedly a record of a 1937 incident when a Montana farm
labourer brought down a gigantic grasshopper near Miles City with a single
blast of his trusty shotgun.
No
further details have ever been made available: who the farmhand was, who the
photographer was, what happened to the bizarre creature’s carcass afterwards,
why it hadn’t been blown apart by his Winchester 12-gauge, etc.
As
you may have guessed, the reasons for this are because the whole thing is a
fake.
Comedic
‘whopper hopper’ images were quite popular in the American Midwest in the
1930s, a time and place when grasshopper hordes were posing a particular
problem for agriculture and the local community did their best to put a brave
face on it. Most of these images were sold as postcards or for advertising
promos, and were never intended to be taken seriously.
Frank
Conard of Garden City, Kansas, may well have been the genius behind this one.
He made several such, using carved wooden grasshopper models as props.
*
THRILLERS,
CHILLERS, SHOCKERS AND KILLERS …
An
ongoing series of reviews of dark fiction (crime, thriller and horror novels) –
both old and new – that I have recently read and enjoyed. I’ll endeavour to
keep the SPOILERS to a minimum; there will certainly be no given-away denouements
or exposed twists-in-the-tail, but by the definition of the word ‘review’, I’m
going to be talking about these books in more than just thumbnail detail,
extolling the aspects that I particularly enjoyed … so I guess if you’d rather
not know anything at all about these pieces of work in advance of reading them
yourself, then these particular posts will not be your thing.
MEG by Steve Alten (1997)
Outline
Former
US Navy deep-sea diver, Jonas Taylor, is still haunted by the day he plumbed
the bottom of the Mariana Trench and thought he glimpsed the long-extinct
Megalodon. Few people took him seriously at the time, including Maggie, his
ambitious TV reporter wife. Even though Taylor is now a civilian scientist,
reasonably respected for his palaeontology work, Maggie knows that people still
smirk behind his back and that this is no good for her career. As such, she
embarks on a non-too-discreet affair with Bud Harris, Taylor’s former college
buddy, who now leads a wealthy playboy lifestyle.
Taylor
is thus at his lowest ebb when he is contacted by old friend Masao Tanaka, who
runs a marine science operation. Tanaka has lost an earthquake-detecting
submersible deep in the Mariana and wants Taylor to retrieve it for him with
the aid of his two hotshot aquanaut kids, the adventurous, self-assured DJ and
his sister, the uber-cool Terry.
Taylor
is not enthusiastic about returning to the Trench, and his proposed assistants
give him little confidence, DJ treating the whole Megalodon thing as a joke,
Terry jealous and mistrustful that a non-family member is being brought into
such a complex and costly enterprise.
Initially
the recovery mission goes well. Though the descent into the Trench is horrific,
Taylor starts to rediscover his old deep-sea diving touch. But then disaster
strikes – DJ is attacked and killed by a colossal bioluminescent fish. The
Megalodon …
Review
It
comes as no surprise to me that Steve Alten’s famous deep sea action/horror has
been under option in Hollywood since 1997, or that it spawned a hatful of
successful sequels. Because this is pure escapism at its best. Okay, even
though the science sounds good I’m sure it doesn’t add up to much in reality –
but who cares about that? Because this book has got everything that Jaws had,
and more: clearly defined goodie and baddie characters, a hero with
vulnerabilities, an exotic location (endless acres of cobalt-blue water!), and
a gargantuan, near-indestructible monster, which according to cryptozoologists
the world over could still very likely exist.
It’s
also written in that wonderfully slick American style, especially the
bone-jarring action sequences, which come thick and fast and at times seem to
explode off the page.
A
creature feature for sure, an ocean-borne Godzilla in which an ancient beast
proves too mighty for all of man’s weapons, meaning that only a truly ingenious
solution will fix it (and that solution turns out to be an absolute
eye-popper). But great fun and another easy, rapid-fire read. One that anyone
can happily get their teeth into (sorry).
As
always, and it’s just a bit of fun, here are my picks for who should play the
leads if Meg someday makes it to the screen (it’s allegedly been stuck in
Development Hell for the last 18 years, somewhat uncharitably referred to as
‘Jurasssic Shark’ – but at last there are rumours that movements are now afoot, which is no surprise if true, as it’s too good a basic concept not to make it at some
point):
Jonas
Taylor – Jeremy Renner
Masao
Tanaka – George Takei
Terry
Tanaka – Anna Nagata
Maggie
Taylor – Alice Eve
Bud
Harris – Dustin Clare
(PS: I've no idea who to credit for the marvelous image I use at the top of this column - no name was mentioned on the site where I found it. If the snapper responsible would like to get in touch, I'll happily credit him/her, or even, if they so wish, take it down).
(PS: I've no idea who to credit for the marvelous image I use at the top of this column - no name was mentioned on the site where I found it. If the snapper responsible would like to get in touch, I'll happily credit him/her, or even, if they so wish, take it down).
